By Guest Blogger Wayne Connell, Founder and President, the Invisible Disabilities Association
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Many people will celebrate it with the one they love. I asked my friend, relationship expert and New York Timesbest-selling author of 1001 Ways to Be Romantic, Greg Godek, for his thoughts on “love.” This is what he shared.
“It’s all about love (just consult the Bible or The Beatles). But if love isn’t expressed on a regular basis, it withers (just consult divorce rate statistics.) This is where romance comes in (just consult my book, 1001 Ways to be Romantic). Romance is the expression of love. Romance is the action step of love. Now, here’s the secret that is hiding in plain sight: Romance is easy! Romance is really just creativity applied to your relationship. Romantic gestures don’t need to be grand or expensive. Actually, the best romance is the most heartfelt – the gesture that shows you’re thinking of your partner, the little gift that shows you really understand and appreciate him or her. Romance keeps love alive. And while love is desired by everyone, it is absolutely critical for couples who are dealing with invisible disabilities. You need love to sustain you through experiences that other people can’t even imagine. And in order to keep love alive, you have to nurture it every day. Every day. Romance: It’s not just for Valentine’s Day anymore.”
Greg points out that, “it’s all about love.” But what kind of love is needed to marry someone who is chronically ill or in pain? I had no idea that marrying someone who had a disability was a rare occurrence. Yet another great friend of mine, Peter Strople, told me that I was his inspiration because I married my wife, Sherri, who was already living with the debilitating effects of multiple sclerosis (MS) and Lyme disease and unable to work anymore, when I met her.
I know my wife is my inspiration, but I never thought that I was anyone else’s inspiration. Why wouldn’t I have married Sherri? She was and is funny, smart, beautiful, insightful and creative. And did I mention beautiful? I married HER. She is not an illness, she has an illness. I always tell the guys who are in disbelief, “You would have married her, too!” I’m just glad I got there first and besides, I was just getting the “in sickness” part of our vows out of the way.
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